The day I scratched my itch

I had my carrot and broccoli last night but this morning the cardboard box looked good to eat. I remember my  Mum used to say, ‘no calories in cardboard’, so I tucked in. I was halfway through one side when  I recalled her saying ‘things always go in better than they come out’. So, I stopped about then. Little-Miss put me outside in my home. Good golly it was  torrential rain so I retired to bed. My Mum used to say in this weather, ‘Neville, it’s raining cats and dogs’. I didn’t  venture from bed as  witnessing  these angry creatures with sharp things on their paws falling from the sky wasn’t my idea of fun. After my experience last week I prefer to keep well away from so called cats. There I was minding my own business indoors, running to and fro. Mum used to say ‘always leave a trail Neville so you know where you’ve been’. I no sooner had  allowed Big-Mrs to stroke me then  I had a calling. Now my eyesight has never been great. I call myself a Vertically and optically challenged  Dutch Rabbit.  Mum used to say, ‘never drive Neville’, ‘Ok Mum’ I used to say. Whoever heard of a Rabbit driving! She must have had a bad experience with Dad. She also used to say ‘Neville you were born with an itch you mustn’t scratch, don’t be like your Father!’ Anyway, back to this moment – I returned and all I saw was a flurry of fur where I had been. I will admit, I forgot my p’s and q’s. I jumped on this fur bundle feeling the scratchiest itch and then off again as realization dawned on me when I saw the big saucer eyes that it was ‘THE CAT’. She took it very well considering. Just a hiss and a look. A look that will stay with me.  However, I would stand up in Court and say my eyes let me down!